Thursday, September 6, 2007

Green Grass Doesn't Grow All Around, All Around

Well Hello! And welcome back to Modern Life with Gabby and Beau. Unfortunately, Gabby is not present to accompany me in constructing this post. But not to worry! You are in good hands...

Ok. So our topic of conversation for today is:
Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Ah yes.. A very good inquisition. Many philosophizers have stumbled on this one over the years but alas! You have come to the place of finding the answer that you seek. So! On to the question.. First of all we must thoroughly proceed through the interrogative sentence at hand. Let us look at the first word... Is. Ok now we see the first word. Shall we procceed to the second? I believe we shall. The. Obviously reffering the noun of this particular arrangement of words. Now here is where it gets interesting.. Yes, very interesting. This is where we come across the subject, also called the "fabric and fiber" of the sentence. Grass. Ah yes, grass. Now by grass does the author of this phrase truly mean any various plants having slender leaves? Yes. Well, not completely. But close.. what else is a plant with slender leaves? A willow tree, right? Wrong! The speaker is actually using a literary device called an antonym. And with all of the other antonyms out there, this is a big one. The queen antonym. The grass is not actually grass. So what is the opposite of grass? Correct! A rock.
So! Now that we have cleared that up, let us move on through this laborinth of letters. We will be skipping the word really because frankly I don't think that word is very important in this sentence even though it is written in italics above... Greener. What is this word? Greener? One of my very dear friends, Webster, says that greener pastures means a better or more promising situations. But to be completely honest I would have to disagree. My reasons behind my opinion are unimportant but let's just say that Webster and I are no longer speaking.. So, after much studying of the question, I have come to my position. Let me walk you through it. Green is the color of greed and envy. Therefore, to become greener means to become more envious.
And finally, we reach the last leg of our journey through this simple yet complex phrase. The other side. What side? Side of what? What was on the original side? Where is this supposed side? Those are just some of the questions you need to be asking yourself when trying to find the answer. And what a simple answer it is. Again, let me walk you through it. What do you think of when you think of a side? Correcto! Appetizers. First, you order the Entre or the main course. Then if you're a pretty hungry person (and let's face it- there are a lot of hungry people out there), you might get an appetizer or two. What are two common side dishes? French fries and buffalo wings. So, if french fries are the original side, then what would the other side be? Ah ha! Buffalo wings.

In conclusion, I have determined that the phrase "the grass is greener on the other sider" really means:

"There are more envious rocks in buffalo wings."

Thank you for participating in this amazing adventure through time, space, and sentence construction... but mostly sentence construction.

This has been another episode of Modern Life with Gabby and Beau... But mostly Beau.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Hi! This is Modern Life with Gabby and Beau!

Gabby:What should our topic be?

Beau: um.....why do they make oversized objects...

Gabby: haha we did that last time.

Beau: I know! Is a muffin a bald cupcake?

Gabby: Yes it is. But that's a stupid topic. Let's do something on DDR!

Beau: Gabby, you're always so critical of me... do you hate me?

Gabby: Beau, i'm just trying to boost your self confidence...

Beau: You just de-boosted it.

Gabby: Well sorry, i'm not setting out to be Oprah with her feel-good, you-can-do-it gospel of self-centered self.....ness... Besides, I look better when you look bad.

Beau: Wow, that was a lot of adjectives...

Gabby: Okay....whatever. Now on to our real topic for Modern Life for today. Ellie so kindly brought to our attention, that nowadays, people never have raingear. Why is that? Has the weather changed since the 1950s? Where have the Indian Rubbers gone?

Beau: hmmm... soggy cupcake..

Gabby: *gives Beau a sidelong glance* Probably something to do with global warming.

Beau: *Gasp* melted cupcake? Ok... enough cupcakes... PIE!!!Gabby: I like apple pie...Beau: Chickens go in... pies come out...

Gabby: CHICKEN RUN! (I actually didn't know that reference...) Anyway, raingear.

Beau: Ah yes, raingear. I believe, my dear Gabby, that the lack of water proof apparel is due to the fact that people just don't care about being soaked to the bone anymore.. they just... don't.

Gabby: *sings* "Belice nabida..."

Beau: That's Feliz navidad....

Gabby: I think it's due to the fact that outer appearance doesn't have as much social importance as it did back then....

Beau: I OBJECT!!!

Gabby: Why?

Beau: I don't know.. but it was fun to say.

Gabby: Like marriage!

Beau: I don't get the married thing...

Gabby: You know when people get married at weddings (Steph gets it).

Beau: *sings* I'm ssiinnggiinngg in the rain... just ssiinnggiinngg in the rain!

Gabby: I think it's because shiny, rubbering garments don't really bring out anyone's eyecolor or soften anyone's complexion. Rain coats just don't look good on anyone.

Beau: YOU don't look good anymore. HA!

Steph interrupts: Beau can I ask you a personal question?

Beau: *stammering*: I-I guess....

Steph: Do guys wash their faces?

Beau: Michael does. *shrugs*

Gabby and Andrea: *outbursts of laughter*

Steph: Does Trey wash his face...I think Trey does...

*laughter seems to be raining from the ceiling. Like a tornado of sillyness; floating around the room.*

Beau: For the record, Beau washes his face too... much... lots... once an hour.. very much so..

*New Paragraph*


Hi! Welcome to modern life with Gabby and Beau!!

Gabby: um... we're past that...

Beau: oh... well then I have nothing else to say.

Gabby: Yeah, and apparently Steph is ready to "hit the hay".

Andrea: The moment past Gabby...

Beau: Ok steph, you can hit the hay but just don't hurt it... it has feelings.

Gabby: That's a horrible joke....Steph doesn't get it.

Steph: What? Like straw-hay? What? What hay? I don't get it....Andrea...explain...OFF THE RECORD!!! No!! I want to know!! This hay I....I haven't heard it before! No! I'm 25! Wait! No! Wait! This is really embarrassing...! What hay...?

Andrea: No you said " I'm going to hit the hay!"

Steph: No you know you mean like "Hey! Hey!"?

Andrea: No you said that!

Steph: What hay are YOU talking about?

Beau: Whatever hay you're talking about!

Andrea: Are you making this up?

Steph: No! I'm not trying to be funny!

Andrea: What part don't you get!!!!

Steph: NEvermind i'm done....

5 minutes of this later.....


Steph: oooooohhhhh........

Beau: It doesn't matter what kind of hay....

Steph: I think I get it....I'm so confused....

Gabby: After this enlightening conversation....THIS HAS BEEN *ahem* WITH GABBY AND BEAU (and Andrea and Steph). Thanks for tuning in and until next time....


Gabby, Beau, Steph, Andrea: GOODBYE!

Beau: P.S.- And God bless us, everyone!

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